FLETCH: So this is why people shake babies.

Meet Fletcher.

 Our 2nd born.

Fletcher has taught me so much about life in his 22 months on this earth. He has taught me how to truly love someone unconditionally. He has taught me a level of patience that I never knew existed.  Fletcher has brought me closer to God than I've ever been before... I hate to say it but Fletcher also taught me why people shake babies. Trust me, that last one was harder for me to type than it was for you to read...

A few weeks ago my good friend Mike Smith (Sunshine Dad) wrote a blog post about how crazy and difficult his second child can be. Why is the 2nd child crazy?  While reading Mike's post my wheels just started turning and I was reminded that I really have a  great story to tell. A story that can help expectant parents who may one day find themselves where we were in the months following the birth of our second child. A story that can also help parents who have been where we were but may still be facing challenges as a result of their own personal Fletcher.

Ahhh, the first cries of a new born baby. Such a welcome sound to the ears of a parent in the delivery room. You cannot wait to hear that cry. For the most part, it means that everything is okay. You can relax. Your new baby is breathing and really taking those lungs on their very first test drive. Give it all you've got, son. Let her rip! In a few moments we'll begin learning how to soothe you. We'll get you fed and swaddled... but for now, just stretch those lungs. 

Then we never want to hear you cry again... Ever! Ha! That first cry is the only one we'll ever look forward to. We'd rather just sit back and reap the rewards of being "amazing" parents, just like we did with our first born. I remember being convinced that our second son would be just like our first. Why wouldn't he be? We're not going to do anything different. We've got this. We've been here before. We know how this is done.

Wait! What?

You have other plans?

Unfortunately, Fletcher spent most of his first 5 months doing just what he's doing in the picture above. 

Crying.

Screaming!

Look at me. I had no idea that the wrath of Fletcher was on it's way.  

Poor guy... (that goes for both of us)

Now, before you read any further please keep in mind that Fletcher is perfectly healthy. So many parents are unexpectedly hit with a diagnosis that has life changing implications just after the birth of a child. I'm grateful that was not the case with us. I want to be sensitive to that. The last thing I want to do is come off as a parent who is complaining about simply being a parent when there are so many others out there wishing all they had to do was deal with a whiny baby. Babies cry. I get that. Sometimes they are really hard to soothe. However, It can wear you out, frustrate you and beat you down mentally.  

According to our pediatrician, he may have been born with a somewhat premature digestive system. According to a million other genius armchair doctors he had Colic.

Colic? What is that?

 I mean, I know the definition of the word but

am I the only parent who thinks it's kind of strange?

 When I first heard someone say he had Colic my initial thoughts were:

How do we get rid of it? What's the cure? What type of medicine do we need? Let's get him all better.

"Oh, no no no. Colic is not a sickness or a disease. There is no medicine. There is no cure. Your baby is gassy and discontent which causes him to scream in pain at the top of his lungs for hours. We're going to call that Colic so we can technically have a diagnosis and hopefully that will make you feel better even though there is nothing you can do about it but try a few home remedies and give him gas drops."

Maybe it's just me but I would prefer you just tell me I have a gassy discontent baby and to buckle up for a wild ride because only God knows how long it is going to last... Yeah, that's probably just me.

 There were many times that I thought he had cried so hard for so long that he might literally explode before my eyes. This was the most heart breaking thing I have ever experienced, while simultaneously being the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. How is it possible for a baby to cry this much? He's clearly not satisfied with the parents the doctor sent him home with. Why was this so easy the first time around and so difficult this time? Did we forget what to do? Why is burping this baby like solving a rubix cube?

 Daphne and I used to joke that in his first five months he cried more than our 2 and 1/2 year old had in his entire life. It was true. We would get him to sleep at night and 30 minutes later he would wake up screaming. He would continue to scream for anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour until we finally found the secret position that got him back to sleep. He kept us guessing. There was never any rhyme or reason to this:

Who could forget the old upside down crotch grab? One of our most successful positions.

When that didn't work I would resort to the two armed baby holster. I would hold him like this, bend over at the waste and swing him back and forth. Yes, we had a swing but he didn't care for it most of the time. He would prefer his Daddy get a little work out.

One night I played him to sleep with the Bubble Guppies guitar. My real guitar came in handy on multiple occasions as well.

Here we are under a dock on a beach on the North Carolina shore after a good 2 a.m. screaming sesh. 

Thank God for the ocean waves.

Ah yes, the night he wanted to prop his face in my hand and sleep sitting up.

Seriously Fletch!?!

Give us a break. Please, just one break? Fletcher could turn a 30 minute drive into a 2 hour adventure in which the only time he wasn't crying was when I stood in the Burger King parking lot in the glow of the drive thru menu imagining myself trying to disguise him as the kids meal toy and handing him over to the cute little girl in the backseat of the approaching Chrysler Town & Country and running for the hills. Oh, Fletcher!

What made trips like this even more enjoyable was the fact that his older brother was a "Team Crier." Oh boy, if Fletcher was upset Cooper was not about to let his poor little "bruhder" cry this out alone. Thanks Coop. We appreciate your concern. Really, we do.

My poor wife. When I was at work she was at home with the two boys all day. I don't know how she made it through this five month stretch. She deserves some kind of medal. No, she deserves more than that. She deserves a lifetime supply of Ice cream. Daphne, if you're reading this, I appreciate you and I will make you Ice cream 'til death do us part. I promise.

I remember taking a few days off of work just so she could have a "mental health day." I knew how helpful that extra set of hands was. There were nights when she needed to go out with the girls. Make no mistake, it was a NEED, not a WANT. I acted like it was no big deal but as soon as that door shut behind her I just prayed. There was also a two week stretch when I basically locked myself in the guest bedroom with Fletcher so Daphne could get some good rest at night. This involved a lot more prayer.

 Let me be clear that Fletcher's discomfort was more heart breaking than anything else but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced. Some nights nothing worked. NOTHING! I'll never forget in my most desperate moments thinking, "So, this is why people shake babies." I'm sure that multiple times in your life you've seen the mug shot of some loser on the news who just went to jail for shaking a baby. Well, I've always been the type of person who immediately passed judgement on that guy and said a few choice words about him. I also made my thoughts clear on what they ought to do to him in jail, but I didn't know it could get this bad. I didn't know babies were capable of this kind of misery. 

Don't get me wrong. I've never had sympathy for someone who has made such a detestable decision. It's completely unacceptable. Empathy, however? Yes. Now that I understand how it happens, I completely understand how someone who is sleep deprived, frustrated and perhaps lacking the proper mental tools to have a child to begin with, can make such a horrible decision. After all, we literally tried everything besides shaking him and most times, none of it worked. The thought of it makes me sick. What if my mother hadn't put in overtime to teach me how to control my temper? What if God had decided to give my sweet little Fletcher to someone incapable of learning this unconditional love and special level of patience? I cringe at the thought as the tears well up in my eyes. Sometimes you just have to love someone through a situation and rely on faith that the reward is there even though you may not be able to see it. Thankfully, God gave Fletcher to Daphne and Me and we made it through that chapter of our lives together.

I'll never forget a conversation we had with an older woman when Daphne was pregnant with Fletcher. She had two children. Two sons who were in their late teens/early twenties at the time of the conversation. They were close in age like Cooper and Fletcher would be. She told me that from the day her second son was born she could tell he was just difficult. She said he was just different and he's been that way his entire life. Then she kind of rolled her eyes.

Today her oldest son is very successful. He's confident and thriving at life. He's a contributing member to society and in good standing with mom and dad. Her youngest son continues to make poor decisions and seems to be the black sheep of the family. I've often found myself thinking back to this conversation, especially during Fletcher's "dark days." I bet she would tell you that she was given a "bad egg." She would say that she did the best she could with him but he just always made things hard on himself. I just can't help but think that she may have expected her second son to be just like her first son and because of this expectation she never let him just be himself. Maybe she always held him to a standard set by the temperament of her first son and because he came nowhere near fitting into that mold she just wrote him off as a bad egg and therefore parented him in a completely different manner than she parented her oldest son. 

I remember those thoughts creeping into my head: 

"He's just so difficult." 

"Typical Fletcher."

"We're fighting a losing battle. Things will never change"

"What's wrong with this child?"

When they did I would think back to that conversation and how I felt like her second son just got the raw end of the deal. It just wasn't fair for him. He didn't get the same encouragement and praise because he was difficult from day one. When you really think about it, he probably deserved more encouragement. He definitely deserved more patience. He needed more patience and I couldn't help but feel like she gave him less. I made a deal with myself that I would NOT under any circumstance short change my Fletcher. I promised myself to always let my sympathy for his discomfort win the battle with my frustration for my own discomfort. His first few months were hard enough. The last thing he needs is a hardened and impatient heart from someone who should be opening his heart even wider for him. I was not going to let that happen.

They say that parenting is a "labor of love" and they are right. I can honestly say, now that we have passed this phase, that I wouldn't change a thing. I've grown so much through these trials and I feel like Daphne and I have won a battle. We used to ask ourselves questions like, "How is it possible for a baby to cry this much?" Today we ask ourselves  questions like, "How is it possible for a toddler to find so much joy in so many things?" He gets so excited about so many small things in life and brings so much joy to us on an every day basis. He's definitely still a handful. He's just a much more manageable handful.

 Today, Fletcher is almost two years old. He's the kind of kid who will walk into the kitchen, see his high chair and think, "Man, I'm hungry. I've got to find a way to get up there." Sure enough, if I turn my back on him for one minute he'll find a way into that high chair. Its incredible. I need to hide a camera in the kitchen to figure out how he does it.

 What makes it exceptionally mind blowing is the fact that once he gets up there and tells me how hungry he is, he simply refuses to eat anything...besides maybe the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms cereal.

We find Fletcher shut in a dark closet, shut in the pantry or stuck somewhere in the house once or twice a week minimum.

Oh, Fletcher! You've really made your mark on us. You've redefined the way we approach parenting and life in general. You've taught us so many lessons. I'm still trying to grasp the one where you potty while standing on your head.

You don't talk very much. I like you!

Once upon a time there was a happily married husband and wife who lived in Jacksonville, Florida. They were approaching the age of thirty years old and had a few of life's ever so important questions that needed answering. Before we get into those questions it's only fair that I help you paint a proper mental picture. The once upon a time I am referring to is way back in the year 2010 and the couple I am referring to is Casey and Daphne Grice.

Yes, that is me and my beautiful wife. It was time for us to make some important life changing decisions. You know the kind of questions couples without children begin asking themselves around this time in their life together:

Q: What's next?

A: Uhh...

Q: Do we buy a boat or something?

 A: No. If I don't accidentally sink it, it will inevitably break down and just end up being an eyesore in our yard. I'd rather have a child. As crazy as it sounds, a child just seems like less trouble.

Q: Do we get a dog?

A: Absolutely not. Growing up I was forced to take care of my sister's dogs. She couldn't take care of them so she dumped them off on my parents. My brother and I had to feed them, walk them and scoop up their poop for the better part of a decade. And oh yeah, coincidentally they just happened to be chained to my dad's old broken down boat in the yard for all those years. My prior experiences with boats and dogs have scarred me. If I'm going to be cleaning up poop I want it to be the poop of someone who's not going to end up tied to a boat collecting fleas.

Q: Do we have a child?

A: YES, PLEASE.

So, on April 3, 2011 we had a son. 

We named him Cooper.

The Grice Family in early 2011.

Daphne, Casey and Cooper.

Meanwhile, approximately 10 minutes down the road lived another couple who were going through some of the same life changing decisions. At the time we did not know these people even existed. Two University of Florida graduates who were married in 2007. I introduce to you Adam and Amy Anker:

They already had a boat. They already had a dog. What was next for these two love birds?

Q: Should we have a child?

A: Sure, it seems like the right time.

Q: Do we sell the boat?

A: Yes. We have no family in Jacksonville and few (if any) baby sitting resources. This means the chances of us actually using the boat in the next few years are slim to none. The marina fees are too
 expensive and the last thing we want is for that beautiful 17 foot Chaparral to become an eyesore in our yard.

Q: Do we get rid of the dog?

A: Yes. We chain her to the boat and make it a package deal. Just kidding. Just kidding. What kind of person would chain a dog to a boat?!? We keep the dog. Non-negotiable. We sell the boat, keep the dog and have a child. 
Deal? 
Deal!

So, they begrudgingly sold the boat.
They kept the dog. It was never truly a question. The plan was made.

On April 22, 2011 they had a beautiful baby boy.

They named him Grayson.

The Anker Family in early 2011.

Adam, Amy, Grayson, and Layla
Beauties, all of them.

Two baby boys born with only 18 days between them. The decision to bring a child into this world is what brought us into each other's lives. How we met is a story in itself. I had never met anyone in this fashion before this day and I seriously doubt I'll ever meet anyone in this fashion again.

It was a typical hot summer Saturday. Daphne, Cooper and I headed to the beach to one of our favorite old spots for lunch. Cooper was only 6 or 8 weeks old at the time so we were still able to leave him in his seat asleep (No, not in the car) and only worry about feeding ourselves. We could actually still use both hands and eat our food while it was still hot.  We had no clue how meal time was about to change. 

Anyway, I'm sure we just talked about Cooper for the entire meal like first time parents tend to do, then we headed to the parking lot to get in the car. About half way between the restaurant and the car we passed a couple on the sidewalk carrying an accessory similar to the one we were carrying: a tiny brand new bouncing baby boy. 

We all four smiled as if to acknowledge that we all recently joined the same new and exclusive club of sleep depravity. There may have been some of your typical first time parent pleasantries exchanged:

"Awe, he's so cute!"

"How old is he?"

"Congrats and have a nice day."

Or maybe not. I don't particularly remember. We continued on our separate ways.

What I do remember was about 30 seconds later when I was putting Cooper in the car and a homeless person approached my wife begging for change. I thought it was a homeless person begging for change anyway. Turns out it was Amy...begging for friendship maybe? She must have prepared for this moment. She started with a pretty smooth pick-up line. 

"Hey, do you know of any Mommy & Me classes around here or anything?"

I don't remember Daphne's reply. All I know is that a few smooth lines later and this strange gal had coerced my ladies phone number from her lips. Literally, like 3 lines from this silver tongued she devil and she scored my wife's digits. Impressive.

Now that I think back to our dating days, I scored the digits pretty easily too, so maybe I'm giving Amy a little too much credit. 

I digress.

They chatted for a few seconds, exchanged numbers and then Daphne sat down and closed the car door. We looked at each other with a look of bewilderment and I asked, "What was that all about?" Daphne replied something along the lines of, "I don't know. She seemed normal enough so I gave her my number. We might get together with the boys." I couldn't believe it. Now, I could see me doing the same thing if some lonely new dad came up to me in a parking lot asking my son and I on a play date because I always feel compassion for people but Daphne is not the most compassionate broad in the world and she is very on guard about stranger's intentions so this seemed out of character for her.

Turns out, Daphne made a great decision that day. Actually, Amy is the one who made the great decision. Amy wasn't some lonely new mom who didn't have any friends because she had some freaky deaky skeletons in her closet. (Although I haven't personally checked the closet.) She just didn't have any friends with kids the same age and thought it would be a great idea to try to find a playmate for little G. Pretty great intentions if you ask me.

It worked out.

Years down the road we've talked about our atypical meeting multiple times. Amy's version of the story goes something like this: "When we passed you guys on the sidewalk I thought you looked normal. I wasn't going to let you get away!! Plus, Cooper had on those cute Gator shoes. Grayson had them too. It was a sign."

Here we are almost 4 years down the road and the Anker family are some of our best friends in the world. I even happen to like Adam just as much as Daphne likes Amy. It's hard to find friends who are married that you and your wife get along with equally. I would suggest that the chances of this mutual admiration plummet significantly with two strangers who harass you and your new baby in a parking lot. But for whatever reason it worked out.

We have so many memories of the boys growing up together. Most of them are fantastic.

Some were a little tougher to deal with. Regardless, these boys are each other's first friend and you can never change that no matter what happens.

Daphne and Amy started taking the boys to a place called My Gym. Grayson and Cooper learned to play, climb, roll, grab, clap, slap bang and hang together. They have learned to do almost everything together. Here they are literally learning to hang together at My Gym.

They learned to swing together. Even tandem swing sometimes when they were small enough to fit in the same swing.

We even tried cookin' 'em up for Thanksgiving dinner that first year. They weren't having it.

 So we dressed them up as Pilgrims and Indians and forced them to play nice!

Even though they are Jewish and we are Christian they still came over for the ugly sweater Christmas party to celebrate friendship. Cooper and Grayson had matching sweater vests.

Tell me these little cupids couldn't turn that spark into a flame!

We take them to the pumpkin patch every year. It's tradition.

2011

2012

2013

2014

 Grayson, Fletcher (our second son) and Cooper

As you can see, we have had some great times. Too many to count, actually. But it hasn't all been as smooth as we would have liked. Far from it actually. Throughout all these amazing memories something just wasn't "right." There were multiple signs along the way. 

If you noticed earlier on I talked about all the things Cooper and Grayson learned to do together. I wanted so bad to type the words, "They learned to do EVERYTHING together." But I just couldn't. There were a few things I had to omit. You see, Grayson never rolled over and he wasnt much for crawling. He took his time getting around to those first steps. One might say he was a little behind schedule, but for Grayson, he was right on time. When Cooper was learning to communicate and talk to mom, dad and his friends, Grayson was not. Grayson was diagnosed with Autism a few months after his second birthday but Adam and Amy say they knew since he was 6 months old. 

When Grayson was in social settings that he wasn't comfortable with he would have some major melt downs. They would tell us about other situations that would set him off and none of us could understand why. I remember trying to give them parenting advice on things to try; Things that worked for us, but it never worked. They had already tried it all. 

I was just trying to be a good friend, but as it turns out, I had no idea what I was talking about. At that point I guess none of us did. It was frustrating for me. I just wanted to help them figure it out. I can't imagine what it was like for Adam and Amy. I would guess that parenting an autistic child who you do not know is autistic might be one of the most difficult things to do on this earth. I'm sure at some times they felt like incompetent parents. I can assure you that they are anything but. Adam and Amy have no idea how much they have taught me about parenting, dedication, love and resolve in the 4 years that I've known them. 

Once  Grayson was diagnosed with autism (non verbal; he still does not talk) Adam and Amy took the bull by the horns. I'm sure it's been much more difficult than they let on but they've learned how to communicate with him in his "language." They are potty training him with flash cards and he's starting to make progress. Are you kidding me? Potty training Cooper with words was the hardest thing I've ever done as a parent and I whined about it all the time. Adam and Amy have stepped up to a much tougher challenge and I know they will succeed. I didn't know anything about autism before Grayson's diagnosis but I've learned my fair share since. Not only about autism in general but how to be a better friend and how to be a better parent.

Here we are in downtown Jacksonville at the Annual Autism Speaks walk.

 I've learned that parents of children with autism don't need you to feel sorry for them. They don't need anything special from you. They just need support. I've learned that children with autism are different. They are unique and special. I would hope that no one would take offense to that statement. True, I don't know first hand what it is like to have a child with autism but I do know what it is like to love a child with autism. 

Adam and I recently had a moment with the boys that taught us a great lesson. A few months back when the they were  3 1/2 Cooper must have all of a sudden realized that Grayson has never talked. We were at Zaxby's after dinner and as we were headed to the car Cooper made a point to make eye contact with Grayson and he asked, 

"Grayson, do you talk?" 

Grayson doesn't talk yet so he did not answer Cooper. This left the explaining up to me. I dropped the ball and said something along the lines of, "No buddy, he doesn't" and I apologized to Adam. I clearly wasn't prepared for this. I thought for sure we had at least another year until we needed to explain this to Cooper. I had no need to apologize to Adam. Adam wasn't offended. He made that very clear but I guess I was just put in a situation I didn't know how to handle so my human nature took over and I apologized while completely dropping the ball on an explanation as to why Grayson doesn't talk. Cooper deserves to know why his very first friend hasn't spoken a word to him since they met so long ago and Grayson deserves to have someone speak up for him and explain to his buddy why he doesn't talk to him.

It all hit me on the way out to the car and I explained it to Cooper the best way I knew how. I told him that Grayson is our quiet friend. I told him that he doesn't talk right now but we hope that one day he will. I told him that he is special to us and that we love him no matter what and then I used one of his favorite movies to help him understand.

UP

"You don't talk very much. I like you."

For some reason he has always loved this part of the movie when Ellie tells Mr. Fredrickson (when they are kids) that she likes him because he doesn't talk very much. We would say it and he would laugh or he would randomly say it during the day. It just struck a chord with him.

He smiled really big and said "Okay Daddy."

I think I got the point across.

A few weeks later Adam and Grayson came over for a guys play date. We were playing with the boys in the playroom. Cooper brought it up again. He said something along the lines of  "Grayson doesn't talk." I reminded him that Grayson is our quiet friend and that he is very special to us. When Adam told this story, he said that Cooper's response was innocent, positive and matter of fact:

"He'll talk one day."

Adam also said that it's not the easiest thing in the world to stay positive about Grayson one day being verbal but if he ever needs a glass half full kinda guy he's going to head to the playroom to find Cooper.

There are no words to describe how proud it made me feel to read those words when Adam typed them. I guess that is fitting.

Since the day that Cooper was able to communicate with us it became obvious that he has a very tender heart. When his little brother Fletcher would cry as a baby, Cooper would cry too. He would get sad because Fletcher was sad. There is one instance that stands out in my mind when Cooper accidentally ran into a little girl at the zoo and knocked her down. He stood up and he was fine. He noticed she was hurt and crying. He helped her up, gave her a hug and a kiss and then cried right along with her until her mommy came and got her. He's tender, caring, supportive and understanding. When he learns how to harness those emotions as he gets a little older he'll be the perfect teammate to be in Grayson's corner. Grayson might need a friend to understand him and speak up for him but maybe, just maybe Grayson will just need a friend to encourage him to speak up for himself. It is my responsibility and my challenge to continue to teach Cooper how to be that friend.

The further we get away from that day in the parking lot at the beach when something told Amy not to let us get away, the more I'm convinced that we didn't meet by chance. There is a reason why we've been put in each other's lives and it might just be this special little friendship or it might be something more. I heard a rumor that God works in mysterious ways.

We're only 4 years into this story.

To be continued.

There's a WHAT inside my wife?!?!

Do you remember those super cool pictures with the hidden 3D images that became really popular back in the nineties? They just looked like some type of pointless radical design at first glance but then your buddy who already had it figured out taught you how to look deeper into the picture. Maybe he showed you how to put your nose against it, slightly cross your eyes and slowly move your head away from the picture while gradually uncrossing your eyes until you finally saw it. 

What took you so long?

 For crying out loud, there's an angry three dimensional shark with two rows of flesh hungry teeth exploding out of the murky water (that you thought you actually felt splash your face) seconds away from chomping down on a tasty unfortunate surfer that the shark had mistaken for a manatee!!! ...and this is all happening mere inches from your face! You were practically giving him a cross eyed kiss only seconds ago!!! 

BOOM!!!

 Your mind was officially blown.

 How in the world did they do that? 

Well, the answer is: I don't know.

 I read some stuff on Google but I don't really remember... or maybe I'm just too elementary minded to comprehend what I read. Maybe that's why I have such an appreciation for these pictures in the first place.

What I do know (thanks to Google) is that the super cool picture with a hidden 3D image actually has a name. It's called:

THE STEREOGRAM:

Blast from the past, right? When was the last time you saw one of these bad boys? Did you know it's called a Stereogram? I'm impressed if you did. To be honest with you I had completely forgotten about these things until about two years ago. I remember exactly where I was when the memory of the stereogram re-entered my mind. I was sitting in a chair at the hospital while my stunningly beautiful pregnant wife was paying the receptionist for our 19 week doctor visit. We were anticipating the birth of our second child. We were approximately half way through the pregnancy. I was pouring over 8 or 9 pictures that were somehow even more mind blowing than the stereogram... 

and that's before I saw it.

What is "it" you ask? I'll get to "it" momentarily. For now, let's talk about those pictures.

THE SONOGRAM:

( Our second son, Fletcher, in the womb @ 10 weeks all by himself)

 I'd venture to say that pretty much everyone knows what a sonogram is. Those of us who are parents could never forget. I'm sure you remember that feeling you had the first time you saw a sonogram of your child/children; the first time you heard the heart beat. It's really the first chance to bond with your child. Even though your wife may have taken a pregnancy test or had her pregnancy confirmed by a doctor it just doesn't hit you until you see that tiny little guy and hear that beautiful breath taking heart beat. I will never forget that feeling... instant chills and an instant rush of the happiest tears to my eyes... true love.

 Okay... I'll stop.

 I can feel you tearing up on me.
(or maybe it's just me.)

What I'm trying to say is that it's one of life's mind blowing moments. I'd be lying if I said it was the same feeling I felt when I saw my first stereogram. That would be silly. It's similar but it's different. I already told you that I have an elementary mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm a smart enough guy but I guess I just really appreciate things that are "super cool" to me. A stereogram and a sonogram are both "super cool" in their own special way. Even though you have to look "deeper" into a stereogram to see what it has to offer, the super cool pay off moment is much deeper with the sonogram. When comparing the two, it's kind of funny when you think about it that way. But why would anyone bother to think about it that way? What would possess anyone to even bother comparing the two?

(Fletcher @ 19 weeks presumably still all by himself in the womb
don't worry, he doesn't have a twin.)


Am I right? Are you asking yourself  why I even bothered to make this comparison?

Well, the answer is: I don't know.

Just kidding. I actually have an answer this time but before I tell you, let me ask you a few questions that may seem like they are coming out of left field.

You've seen Toy Story right?

If you have kids they probably love the movies. You may even love them yourself.



Are you familiar with Woody, Buzz and the gang?

My oldest son, Cooper, LOVES Toy Story. At the time of our 19 week appointment with Fletcher it is safe to say that we were watching parts of Toy Story on an every day basis. It is also safe to say that my wife and I were seeing the Toy Story characters in our sleep. They had basically become part of the family.

This was the scene at our house on Christmas morning that year.

Back to the question at hand.

Why would I bother to compare a stereogram and a sonogram?

This is why:




When I first saw him while sitting in that chair at the doctor's office I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I thought I had watched so much Toy Story that I was just seeing things. When i mentioned it to my wife she rolled her eyes. When she saw him for herself she couldn't believe her eyes. In case you haven't seen him yet, I will help you out.

WOODY!!!

Cowboy hat, vest and all.

Inside my wife.

Propped up against my unborn son's face.

"There's a snake in my boot!"

Once you see him you can't unsee him. We showed the receptionist. She cracked up laughing. She started showing Woody to everyone in the doctor's office. We were all laughing. The doctor even heard the laughter and came around the corner to see what was causing such a commotion. When he saw Woody he laughed heartily and explained to me how the babies right hand, jaw and nasal cavity lined up perfectly to make it look like Woody was hanging out in there. He even made a joke about there being "a Woody" inside my wife.

Gee. Thanks Doc.

As if Woody and the gang weren't already a big enough part of our family, now we're bonded forever and I'll never believe that those toys don't really come to life when no one is watching.

It was a fun moment. One I'll never forget. Right there in that chair in the doctor's office I actually had a stereogram moment for the first time since the nineties.

BOOM!!!

My mind was officially blown.
How in the world did they do that?

(Fletcher and Woody today. Two years later.)